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PostPosted: Thu Dec 01 2011 1:22 pm 
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Lots of other FC forums have a jokes section Image(and we did on the penultimate one), so it's time we did.... but KEEP THEM CLEAN please or they will be deleted

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 01 2011 1:22 pm 
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A report says that 70% of 14-year old girls in Telford go binge-drinking every week.

That's terrible. Genuinely shocking.

I mean, who's looking after their kids?

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 01 2011 6:33 pm 
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Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter' who has stabbed 26 people up the rear end over the last 48 hours, reckon he is following a pattern.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 01 2011 7:27 pm 
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I bought a Scouse Advent Calendar today, chocolates had already been nicked and the windows were all boarded up.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 01 2011 10:15 pm 
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The wife was counting all the 1p's and 2p's out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02 2011 7:22 am 
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The wife was counting all the 1p's and 2p's out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."
:mrgreen: :clap:

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02 2011 8:42 am 
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Location: Marldon, Paignton, Devon
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02 2011 8:56 am 
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Lots of other FC forums have a jokes section (and we did on the penultimate one), so it's time we did.... but KEEP THEM CLEAN please or they will be deleted

...and we have one as well now! Power to the People!! Image

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02 2011 9:48 am 
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Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02 2011 9:56 am 
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This man pushed me into a bag of peanuts, so I told the police - they asked me if I was assaulted - I said 'No - dry roasted!!!'

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02 2011 10:05 am 
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Q. How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?

A. To get to the other side.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02 2011 12:52 pm 
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... and still the funniest (clean) joke I've ever heard....

Two camels walking across the desert.

One says to the other: "I don't care what they say, I'm thirsty"

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02 2011 1:29 pm 
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Location: Perton , South Staffs obviously
Two tigers walking down the high street. One turns to the other and says, "It's a bit quiet today..."


Rubbish I know so I'll wait for the crimbo crackers before I make my next offering


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02 2011 2:37 pm 
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Rubbish I know so I'll wait for the crimbo crackers before I make my next offering

Okay - here you are then .. one Christmas cracker!!

Image

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02 2011 4:56 pm 
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I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02 2011 4:58 pm 
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The price of hearing aids has gone up.
Deaf people across the country are going "how much?"

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04 2011 7:14 pm 
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I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue and I couldn't put it down.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04 2011 7:29 pm 
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Has someone bought you Tim Vine's joke book as an early Christmas present?

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04 2011 7:31 pm 
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Has someone bought you Tim Vine's joke book as an early Christmas present?
Is there a punchline to that joke?
:lol:

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05 2011 8:51 pm 
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I had Jehovahs Witnesses come to the door today, feeling in a good mood I invited them in, showed them into the living room and asked them if they would like a cup of tea. I put the kettle on and said "now what was it you wanted to talk to me about".
One of them looked me straight in the eyes and said "I haven't got a clue we've never got this far before".


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08 2011 6:58 pm 
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Man UTD and Man City have joined forces to launch a new perfume for Christmas.
It's called Channel Number 5.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 11 2011 7:38 pm 
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I know it's personal, but it's no-one any of us know personally……..

I laughed out loud when I heard the Stoke fans singing, 'Gareth Bale, he looks like a chimp', this afternoon.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 12 2011 6:37 pm 
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"History repeats itself" - the slogan for The History Channel + 1.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 14 2011 10:45 am 
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A moth goes to an osteopath and says "I'm having a breakdown."
Osteopath says, "you should see a psychiatrist."
Moths says, "I was, but your light was on."

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18 2011 10:26 am 
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The officials at Worksop - they were a joke! Albeit, a bad one……..

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